Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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