is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
