so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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