Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
