I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
