He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
