the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
