I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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