Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I love having hate sex.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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