Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
