we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
