whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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