do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
