marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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