this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
