the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
