And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize