Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
