He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
