there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
