every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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