it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
