Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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