Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
