You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
