normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
