I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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