She announced her abortion via fbk
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
