I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
My friends, they love my intelligence
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
