thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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