oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
