My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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