I'm jealous of your bromance
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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