my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
