Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
