I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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