THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
