who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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