Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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