Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
