Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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