didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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