Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
