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Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
