She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
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