I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
