My friends, they love my intelligence
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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