worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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