Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
