It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Randomize
