So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
