I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
